Draft 3

In this post I changed some things in my speech and added intonations and pauses.

fast pace; 

low pace;

(h) - high pitch; 

(l) - low pitch;

↘ - nuclear tone (fall)

↗ - nuclear tone (rise) 

 | - pauses

Have you ever received some unsolicited comments about your ↗ appearance? About your ↗personality? Were there any situations | when someone gave you advice |  that you didn’t even ask for  | that made you feel ↗uncomfortable ? I suppose  | that many people can relate to this ↘  issue. Many of us are exposed to unexplainable aggressive criticism or unrequested ↘judgments. Getting unsolicited advice and opinions  | can bring a lot of negative feelings to a ↘ person. These actions show the lack of respect to ↘people. ↗So,  | this leads to my thesis ↗ statement:  | everyone should respect each other and keep ↗thoughts |, ideas about other ↗people |, unnecessary advice to ↘themselves |  ↗ especially if they can hurt someone’s ↘ feelings. ↗Thus,  |  I’d like to discuss the following ↗questions |:

·        ↗ reasons  | why people shouldn’t give unsolicited ↗advice,  | ↗ opinions |;

·        ↗ actions  | people should ↗take |  instead of giving unsolicited advice or ↗opinion |;

·         how to react to unsolicited advice or opinion that you ↘got.

↗ Now |  let’s consider some ↗ reasons |  why people shouldn’t give unsolicited ↗advice |, ↘opinions. Unwanted comments about your ↗ personality |, the advice |  that is related with personal ↗ problems |  can lead to the acquirement of more ↗ insecurities,  |  ↗ inconfidence,  |  ↘ frustrations. As we all ↗ know,  |  , unconfident people are more likely to have mental ↘ issues. In the ↗ article  | in the November 20^th 2007 of “European Journal of ↗ Personality”  |, we read |  that suicide is especially common in ↗ nations  | with relatively low levels of ↘ self-esteem.

↗ Imagine  | how stressful it can be  | for people with a low-self  ↗ esteem,  | especially for ↘teenagers. ↗ Remember  | how one unpleasant ↗ word  | that was directed to ↗ you  | made you ↗ cry  | when you were ↘ younger? You wanted to change everything about ↗ yourself  | because you ↗ thought |  that something was wrong with ↘ you.

↗Personally,  |  I heard tons of nasty things about my ↗looks |  and received ↗advice  | that was mainly about ↘acne. “Ew, cover ↘it!”  |  “Why do use foundation |  if you have ↗acne,  |  it’s ↘gross”  | “Have you tried washing your ↗face?”  | “You should try this  ↗gel |  or buy that ↘ointment” – such comments were addressed to me |  ↗even from people I barely ↘knew. I was so ashamed of ↗myself |  that I tried to hide every “flaws” of my ↗body  | and wanted to fit in the unreal beauty ↘standards. Even ↗now  | I’m struggling with ↘insecurities. This doesn’t let me live my life ↘happily.

It’s not appropriate |  to interfere into other people’s ↗affairs |  if they didn’t ask ↘about it. ↗Remember  | we live in the ↗world  | where respect plays not the smallest ↘role. How would you ↗feel |  if somebody did the same thing to ↗you? It’s like going through someone’s dirty ↘laundry. Ask ↗yourself:  | “who am I to judge other ↘people?” It’s better to consider your problems and ↘drawbacks.   You shouldn’t worry about ↗people |  you wanted to ↗help,  |  ↗probably |  they’re aware of their ↘issues. According to the ↗paper |, published in Personality and Social Psychology ↗Bulletin,  |   ↗those |  who crave ↗power |  are more likely to give ↘advice. In one ↗study,  |  124 business graduate students were surveyed on the extent |  they use networking as a way of gaining ↘influence. They then took part in a negotiation exercise with a partner ↗and,  |  ↗afterwards,  |  each person ↗evaluated  | how much advice their partner had given ↘them. ↗Those  | with a self-reported tendency to seek ↗power  | were found to give more↘ advice. So, is the thirst for power worth someone’s bad mood and ↗insecurities? It hardly can be ↘so.

But what should a person ↗do |  instead of giving unsolicited advice or ↗opinion? ↗Now |  we’ll talk about ↗actions  | one should ↗take  | if he still wants to share with his ↘ideas.

Give a piece of ↗advice |  if it’s really ↗necessary |  and if it ‘s not going to hurt someone’s ↘feelings. Don’t talk about their ↗religion |, ↗appearance |, ↗private life |, personal ↘stuff. Try to be ↗positive |, it’s possible to encourage a person to do ↗something |  and give also compliments to ↘him/ her. E.g: I’d suggest doing more of an effort with your ↘task. I know you can do ↘better! And even if you’re going to give ↗advice |, ↗please,  |  be polite and ↘tactful  | and ↘don’t impose your will. E.g: Would you consider going to the doctor  | and getting some medical ↗help? Say your opinions about ↗a person |  if you want to say something ↘positive. If you want  | someone to correct something about ↗him,  |  do it in a ↘gentle way. Don’t ↗attack |, ↗insult |, or be mean in any ↘way. Learn more about constructive ↘criticism.

Don’t make it ↘personal. E.g: “I know we have a crazy ↘schedule. Try to stick to your deadlines next ↗time |  to avoid making your workload even heavier the following ↘week,”  |  will be much better received than ↗saying,  | “you’re too ↗slow  | and need to keep up with your ↘deadlines.”

Be ↗specific,  |  don’t give vague ↗criticism,  | otherwise a person won’t  ↘improve.  E.g: say “I’d love↗ it  | if you woke up a bit ↗earlier  | and helped me with household ↘chores.  I ↗think  | you should be more ↗responsible  | since you’ve ↘grown up” instead of ↗saying  | “You’re such a ↗lazy,  | irresponsible ↘person! I’m ↘tired of you”.

↗Undoubtedly,  | there’re some ↗people |  who still give unsolicited advice or ↘opinion. Let’s see how to ↘react to them.

If you happened to get a piece of ↗advice  | that you didn’t ↗need,  | try to ↘keep yourself cool. Be willing to ↘learn. Be ↘polite. Before you write off someone's ↗opinion,  | consider your ↘relationship. You’ll talk to those people later ↘probably.

E.g“I’ll ask for advice if I need ↗to,  | but I need you to let me talk about this  | without trying to ↘help.” Turn down the advice ↗politely |  if the person doesn't get ↘the hint.. E.g: That's an interesting ↗opinion,  | but I prefer to ↘do it this way."

But what should we ↗do |  when somebody tells an opinion about ↗you  | that you didn’t  even ↗ask for? ↗First of all,  |  sort the constructive from the ↘destructive.

You should think ↗firstly  | whether someone intended to ↗hurt  | or ↘help you to become ↗better  | by saying his ↘comments. If it was the constructive ↗criticism,  | thank a ↗person  | who ↘gave you it. Try not to your lose ↗self-control  | and ↘stay calm. If they try to ↗judge you  | and ↗offend you,  | ↗remember  | ↘negativity’s on them. ↗State  | that their actions show only their inability  | to interact with people ↗appropriately  | and their own ↘drawbacks.

↗Thus, |giving unsolicited advice and opinions isn’t a good ↘idea. They can undermine one’s self ↘esteem. Keep in ↗mind| people have their own ↗boundaries| you shouldn’t ↘interfere. Even if you want to give advice or ↗opinion| when nobody ↗asked for it, | make↗ sure| that it won’t offend a ↗person| and will help him become a better ↘version of himself/ herself. Always be |↗tactful,  | ↗polite |when you ↗do it |and follow the rules of ↘constructive criticism. The following statement seems to show the essence of this ↗problem: | “People who are know it ↗alls, |and dish out unsolicited advice and ↗opinions, | are the same ↗ones |who follow none of their ↗advice |and practice ↗nothing |of what they ↘preach.” So, let’s be considerate and respect each other’s ↘feelings!